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| i've started this bad habit of reading the comments on web-posts and journals and stuff. bad idea, right? i realize, no matter how smart you think you sound, even if ur trying to defend the poor sap who's being trolled, u'll still sound like a raving idiot. it just can't be helped, because really, u have no clue what the author intended, unless ur like, buds or something. though i suppose that's true of real life too. remaining silent in an argument will probably keep u from making a total arse of urself. *shrugs* i dunno, i felt like putting that somewhere NOT on the mainstream webs...and what's more deserted than xanga these days? 'tis the Chernobyl of the interwebs
*dies of radiation poisoning*
[i wonder if i'm making the right decisions. if i'm going in the right direction. or did i just give up?]
>atty | | |
| so, yeah...the campus cops [which i think are also like...the town cops? something like that...] called my house today, saying they were looking for me. dad calls me and is like "wtf*, alli?" to which i said "wtf is right dad, i have no idea." he says "find out and call me back" in his 'i'm about to be very very angry if this doesn't turn out to be a mistake' voice that's oh-so-very unnerving...so i call them and they're like "huh...good question...um....oh! do u know a Kevin Lambert?" i don't think i've known a Kevin in about 10 years now, so no, no i don't know a Kevin Lambert. so i guess it was just some weird mix up...but yeah, needless to say i just about had a heart-attack....
so yeah! that was my excitement for the day, how 'bout u?
>atty | | |
| i remember, once, someone telling me that death is the only fair thing in life, because it happens to all of us...it may have been some religious person, because i think i recall them saying that it's fair because it's the payment for our sins or something...whatever...i don't really know.
either way...i don't like it. it's not fair...death is the least fair thing in the world. it never seems to take the ones it should. why should it come for a young man who's life was just beginning...a young man who was going to devote his entire life to teaching children...to helping people. why should it come for a man who was always loving people, always making time for others...he wasn't perfect...obviously, i'm not so naive as to say that. but he tried harder than most anyone else i've ever met to keep himself from vices. to my knowledge he never smoke or drank (before being of age), he tried so hard to remain pure...hah...he wouldn't even hold his female friends too close in a hug. i never knew him to lie...he was one of the few people i believed to be truly good. and that's saying something...because i don't like most people. you didn't have to try to see the good in him...because that was all anyone could see in him.
i can't understand why God would choose to take him home. heh, maybe He felt that Mike had done such a wonderful job that he deserved to see heaven this soon. i don't know...it seems so unfair. the way i see it, he could have done so much good had he been allowed to live. he could have helped so many people. the hole that's left by a person like that is more painful than any physical wound i know of. it seems wrong...a mistake....there's so much bad in the world. why should someone who brought so much good to it be removed? i know i shouldn't think that God makes mistakes...i know He doesn't...but it feels like He did. God's in control...i know that...yeah, i really do. but, it still doesn't feel right....i'd be content to at least be able to understand it...make sense of it.
mine is a mournful look at this. one filled with anger and sadness and confusion. a dear friend of mine had a better way of looking at it...i wish i had his ability to see things that way...
>atty | | |
| at about 9 o'clock p.m. tomorrow night, i will have officially survived 20 years of life...go team *throws confetti*
>atty | | |
| the more i sleep, the worse i feel...but yet...i can't stop sleeping...i guess it might help if i was actually active...but jumping offa stuff class has been on hiatus recently...due to varying degrees of business, stress, laziness, and coldness. it's hard to get everyone moving when it's cold. i have a test this friday...well...two actually. but anyway...i have this math test...i think i'll do ok on it. i mean, by my sights i understand it, but history will show that i'm not the best judge of my own mathematical understanding. so yeah...i need to do things...read things, write things...draw things. i also need to get moving on my portfolio...and i need to request letters of recommendation from my Rosemont professors...hopefully Michael will write nice things about me...he seemed annoyed that i had left...i guess i won't know till i send him an e-mail tho...
>atty [not sure how i feel today...] | | |
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True
